Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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