I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
