Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize