Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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