My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
