Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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