The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
