I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
