You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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