his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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