he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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