Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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