Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
