help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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