Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
