I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
