There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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