so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
