Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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