walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
