I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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