This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
