32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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