We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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