We're like a lot better than the average bears
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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