i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
