East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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