I can text with my tongue
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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