so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
