So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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