i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I could fuck to npr.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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