but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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