Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
