for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
