At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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