you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
