if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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