Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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