Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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