Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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