Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
