i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
