i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
