Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
