best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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