Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
40s are totally the cure
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
