these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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