need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
