Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
