We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
