TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
