i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize