Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
