Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
