She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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