they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
