ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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