i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
