real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
