This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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