Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
