Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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