I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
