New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Vodka?
Forever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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