so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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